Tuesday, July 06, 2010

We’re engaged!!!


Last Wednesday evening after he got off of work, Matt drove all the way from Santa Rosa to Visalia, to pick me up. We left on Thursday morning to go back to Santa Rosa, where his best friend, Nick was getting married on Saturday. On Thursday evening, Matt took me to this awesome Puerto Rican restaurant, and then we went out for ice cream afterwards. He suggested that we take a drive out to the beach, so we could watch the sunset. It was a gorgeous evening and a beautiful drive out to the coast. When we arrived, the sun had already set, and it was getting dark. When we got out of Matt’s truck, we walked along one of the trails that led out to the beach. The wind had picked up a little, and it had become quite chilly outside. All bundled up in my pea coat, and Matt in his hooded sweatshirt, we went for a stroll along the sandy dunes for a bit, before finding a place to sit and talk. It was a clear nights sky as we talked about our future, and laughed at how quickly we met and fell in love. It was perfect; we were gazing at the stars, trying to make out the constellations in the sky for quite some time before we just sat silent, taking in all of our beautiful surroundings.

I broke the silence by asking if he wanted to leave, because at this point we were both shivering, and he slyly replied, “Okay . . . . (he paused for a moment) right after I ask you to marry me.” My eyes grew large, and I looked at him confused and said, “What do you mean?!” He then handed me a big, beautiful, shiny ring and said, “Nicole, will you marry me?” I excitedly replied, “YES!! Yes, yes, yes! A million times over, YES!” My heart was beating out of my chest at this point, as I quickly took the promise ring that he had given me just one month earlier, and placed it from my left ring finger, to my right.  He then took the new engagement ring, gazed lovingly into my eyes, and as he proudly slipped it on my finger, we shared a long, passionate kiss.

It was one of the most beautiful moments I have ever experienced!! To be with someone that you connect on so many levels with, and to share the same love for the Lord, is simply divine. I am so excited about our new life together, and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my days here on earth with Matthew Kirby!

To continue my story, Matt and I giggled and got up from where we were sitting and practically ran back to his truck. We spent the whole rest of the evening talking about our future together, and drinking in the reality that we were now more than just “boyfriend and girlfriend"; we were engaged!!

We had a glorious weekend at Nick and Amy’s wedding, and before we knew it, Sunday had come. We spent the whole morning on Sunday attending church with Matt’s grandma and dad. It was nice meeting them for the first time, and Matt’s grandma really liked me!

We quickly went home after church to change into more appropriate “travel attire”, loaded the rig and headed for our first destination to Roseville. We had to go get all of my stuff that was still at Doug’s house, and bring it home to Visalia. It took us an hour n’ a half to load all of mine and the kids things, but it was a relief to just be out of there, so I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore. When we stopped at a gas station to fill up his tank, I washed his windshield for him. He couldn’t get enough of that, so he started taking a bunch of pics!


We arrived in Visalia at about 9pm on Sunday evening, just in time to celebrate the Fourth of July with my children, parents, grandpa Tom, Michael and Launa. We had a blast doing fireworks with the kids, and Matt and I were so happy to come home and share the news of our new engagement! It was so nice to have everyone welcome Matt into our family, and most of all, to gain the blessing and approval of my parents and my grandpa!


Monday morning, Matt woke up and put a new part on my car that had worn out. (He takes care of me sooooo well!!) I made him a nice breakfast when he came in from working on my car.


We just relaxed and spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon enjoying each other’s company. At about 2pm, he had to start heading home. We said our goodbye’s, and held and kissed each other until we finally had to part. We were both sad as he drove away, but hopeful about our wonderful and glorious future that lies ahead . . .





















Thursday, June 17, 2010

Daughters of Jerusalem by David Brymer w/ Lyrics

Verse 1: 

A         F#m 
Yes, My Beloved            

Bm               E 
He's the fairest of ten thousand     

A         F#m 
Yes, he is Holy          

Bm                 E 
He is humble, meek and lowly   

Chorus:          

D 
Daughters of Jerusalem                

F#m 
Tell me if you find him   

C#m         D       E 
I am lovesick,  I am lovesick                  

D 
Daughters of Jerusalem                   

F#m 
Tell me if you find him   

C#m        D        E 
I am lovesick,  I am lovesick  

Verse 2: 

A/C#  E                D 
All   I want is to be near you, with you     

Bm        A 
Where you are 

A/C#  E                D 
All   I want is to be near you, with you     

Bm        A 
Where you are  

Artist: International House Of Prayer 
Copyright Credits: Album: Immersed 
Written By: David Brymer

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Daughters of Jerusalem by David Brymer w/ Lyrics

I am lovesick for my first love, Jesus. Stir and awaken my love for You; I am Your bride and I long for You. My heart grieves for the time lost while living in sin; I forgot how to rightfully love and honor You completely . . . Take me as I am, as I hide myself in Your love, and walk in obedience to Your word. Lord, please pour out overflowing measures of Your grace so I can live my life without sin. Take me away to where You are, my friend, my lover . . .


Sunday, June 13, 2010

The True Jesus — Unknown! (3 of 3)

I hope this series has stirred your heart to understand the reality of what it means to TRULY be saved . . . .

The True Jesus — Unknown! (2 of 3)

PLEASE WATCH THIS SERIES!!! It could change your life . . .

The True Jesus — Unknown! (1 of 3)

Oh Lord, forgive us of not following Your commands!!! I realize now for the first time in my life, that I have never TRULY been a follower of Jesus, and therefore not TRULY saved! My heart is extremely sad that I have not loved or obeyed Him as I should, yet so very glad that He has revealed this to my heart by His Holy Spirit to allow repentance and true change to occur . . .

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Trust


Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean (trust not) on your own understanding . . .

Don’t believe what your carnal mind is telling you. Trust God and believe in His word, even if your circumstances are telling you different. If there is no evidence of what He has told you, don’t worry, just trust . . . .

The things we try to desperately hold on to in our life, are often the things that get us into the most trouble, and hold us back from reaching our goals!


Sometimes we need to give the things up that we want, to reach our goals.

If you aim for nothing, you’ll reach it every time.


In order for there to be LIFE, there must be DEATH.

Keep open hands before the Lord. Forgetting the good things and the bad things; leaving them behind - let the past go!

Let the past be the past . . . .


Monday, May 24, 2010

I am a new woman


(Me n’ my bestie, Tracey!)

I am so happy to step out into a new adventure with just my children and I. I am finally able to support them on my own, and make a great life and living for the four of us!! I am proud, strong and happy to be on my own for the first time in my life, and to have a fulfilling and rewarding career! I am actually happy too, believe it or not just being single, and focusing on my beautiful and amazing children, my relationship with the Lord and my career. I have amazing friends that live where I am moving to, and I am so grateful and honored to call them my friends; they are my new family! I am destined for success and I know that God has BIG plans for my family . . .

(My three beautiful children, Christopher, Joshie and Allie with their friends,
Justin and Jordan)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Good times, good friends . . .

This weekend was fabulous!! I headed off to Roseville, which is soon to be my new place to call home. I currently go every weekend to work and spend time with my very best friends, Doug, Tracey, their son Justin, Matt n’ Lisa and their two kids Grace and Jordan, and my good friend Matt, and his four year old son, Mattie. I arrived on Friday evening as usual, and met up with the gang at our good buddy Jeremy’s restaurant, A Taste of Tuscany. After dinner, I hung out with Matt and Mattie for a while and then headed to Doug n’ Tracey’s house for the evening.

Waaay too early on Saturday morning, I awoke to Doug tapping my forehead, informing me that he was hijacking my presence for the next 2 hours, to go shopping for Tracey n’ little Mattie’s birthday party, which was that evening. So I had to quickly get dressed and did some grocery shopping and a Starbucks run. (Cause Doug loves coffee soooo much ;) ) I got my usual Soy, Caramel Macchiatto and Doug picked up a Hot Chocolate to bring home to the Trace-ster!!


We headed off to open up the shop at 9:30am and my very first appt. was a 90 minute massage; ugh!! From there I had back to back appointments (no pun intended) until my last one at 5:30pm. I had a very hard-working, yet extremely rewarding day. We closed up the shop early and headed home for Tracey n’ Mattie’s party.





Matt n’ Lisa were already there along with Doug’s mom, brother Anthony and his wife and kids, Dylan and Melissa and of course Matt n’ little Mattie! We had a fab-U-lous time enjoying good
company, food and laughter! At about 10pm we all got hungry though, so Matt and I hopped in his super cool truck, and escaped for a bit to bring back In-n-out burger for everyone! Despite Matt’s GPS, affectionately named “Lola”, we still got a little turned around on our way home!! Getting to know the Sacramento area IS tough!! Anyways we made it home before Melissa’s chocolate shake totally melted, and all was good!





On Sunday morning, we were all going to get up and go to Tracey’s dad’s church, but we found out that he wasn’t going to be preaching that day, so we decided to stay home and do breakfast.


Well, except for the fact that Doug hired two new employees to come and work for him at the shop, and so he wanted to go get them settled in there before taking us all out to breakfast. I called it as he left, telling him that we would be waiting until LUNCH! He promised he would quickly return. Sooooo, Tracey, Justin, Matt, Mattie and I all hung out at the house all morning, and yep, you guessed it, he came home at about 11:45am!! Just in time for lunch.




Oh well, he made up for it and took us all to our favorite “Benihana’s” type Japanese restaurant called Kokyo, where they cook the food on a grill in the middle of your table, and do fancy, funny tricks with the food! We all had a good time eating and watching little Mattie’s face as the chef did circus acts with eggs, utensils and lit things on fire. After lunch, we went back to Doug’s house and hung out till I had to leave. Upon my departure, I sadly hugged my lovely friends goodbye, and kissed their beautiful faces, until we see one another again next weekend . . .






Wednesday, May 12, 2010

As in the days of Noah . . . .



Matthew 24:36-44

36: But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels in heaven
, but my Father only.
37: But as the days of Noe were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man
be.
38: For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark,
39: And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.
40: Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
41: Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left.
42: Watch therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.
43: But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.
44: Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.


If ever there was a simple way to explain what is about to happen on the earth this is it...

Many people know the story of
Noah and the ark. There is a reason he is mentioned in Matthew by our Lord Jesus. There is another cleansing process going to take place on this earth but it is only through the blood of Jesus that we can now be cleansed. It is only through faith in Jesus Christ that we can escape the devastation that is going to fall upon the wicked. It is only through Jesus Christ that we can come into a right relationship with the TRUE AND LIVING GOD OF THE UNIVERSE. There are many false gods out there beckoning the unsuspecting, beckoning them, beguiling them, tricking and deceiving them. These false gods offer a supernatural experience but it is a counterfeit. Only once the unsuspecting innocent has been stripped of their dignity and all they hold dear, will these false gods show their ugly faces. We are the Noahs of our day. We are the ones who are supposed to be crying out in the wilderness. We are the ones who are supposed to be making sure these innocents are not deceived. Jesus is the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE, there is no way unto the FATHER, but by him. We know the TRUTH, and the TRUTH has set us free, it is our responsibility to share the TRUTH so that others will be set free also. Jesus said follow me and I will make you fishers of men. Are we fishing? Or just enjoying the feast?



Father,

Forgive us for forgetting the
great commission that Jesus set before us. Forgive us for our indifference towards those around us. Forgive us for allowing the flame of our first love to wax cold. Father fan the flame again. Father fill our hearts with a burning fire. Consume us with your fire Father. Redirect our steps. Redirect our agendas. Redirect our time. Redirect our lives towards being a living sacrifice to you, in Jesus' name. Amen


Saturday, March 20, 2010

A prayer for today . . .

I belong to a group on Facebook called, “Power packed prayers”. They send me daily prayers and encouragements about various things.


I love to read these and I particularly liked this one so much that I thought I would share it! This is my prayer too . . .
Dear Heavenly Father,
We thank you for this day filled with Your mercies which are new every morning. We lift our hearts to You in praise and thanksgiving for all You are doing in our lives and the lives of those You have brought to us in Jesus' name. We bring honor and glory to Your throne of grace Father and lay them at Your feet in humble adoration.

We applaud Your Righteousness and Sovereignty. We applaud Your Glory and Grace. We love You Father because You first loved us. May Your Righteousness fill our hearts and fill the earth in Jesus' name. Father, You have said in Your word that the wheat must grow up with the tare, that the sheep must grow up with the goats.

Father, we pray for an outpouring of Your Holy Spirit upon the earth. We pray for a fresh anointing upon Your people oh God, that they would step out in a new refreshing to do Your will. Father, we know Your hand is on India, we know Your hand is on Israel, we know that Your hand is upon all nations of the earth and that You are seeing all that is happening.

We know that You are in control and that Your ways are higher than our ways, that Your thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We may not fully understand now what Your whole plan is but we trust You completely.

As we read Your word and see how things turned out through the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ, we come to know that You have a plan and that evil will be thwarted in the end. WE give You all the praise and glory! Help us Father to discern the times, help us to hear You speak to our hearts, help us to reach out to the hurting ones Lord.

Help us to be sensitive to Your heart and to Your voice Father and lead us not into temptation in Jesus' name. Deliver us from evil and the evil one Father and deliver us into Your place of victory in Jesus' name.

Father comfort those who are afflicted and persecuted for our Lord Jesus' name sake. Father, draw upon the hearts of Your people to pray and reach out in Jesus' name.

Father, open the doors that You would have open and close the doors that You would have closed for our benefit in Jesus' name.

Father bless the pastors and the work that You have called them to. Bless the flock Lord and draw them closer to You. Father open their eyes and ears to see and hear Your Spirit speaking. We are seated together in Christ Jesus in heavenly places Father, reveal these seats and draw us into our divine destinies in Jesus' name.

Thank You for Your faithful provision Father. Thank You for Your daily grace which is sufficient in all things. Father, pour out an extra measure of Your grace upon our persecuted brothers and sisters today for Your glory. Father gird them up in Your strength and accomplish Your will in Jesus' name.

Bless the work of our hands Lord and the fruit of our lips. Give into our hands more souls for Your kingdom Father, for Your glory.

Deliver the oppressed and the broken hearted with Your healing and continue to use us for Your kingdom and Your glory, in Jesus' glorious name.

~ Amen

(Prayer by Mary Burris)

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Where do you get your “car" serviced?


Today as I sat in my pastor’s office, he talked to me about some very simple truths that I found to be quite profound. He touched upon today’s culture, and how we as a christian society strive to be culturally relevant in our world. Let me explain . . .

The new wave of preachers, teachers and counselors often come from the “been there, done that” mentality, and feel that to effectively “identify” with those they are reaching out to, they have to have already lived a life full of past sins, mistakes and wrong lifestyle choices. They use their “testimonies" of how God has radically changed their lives and saved them from the miry clay, to reach out to the masses. It almost seems like you need a pre-requisite in sinful living to be a qualified counselor these days. They use their “pearls of wisdom” about everything they have gleaned from lessons learned the hard way, to preach the message of getting back on the straight and narrow. I guess they feel that if they can identify with others who have made or are currently making the same sin choices, they can better reach out to these lost souls.


I used to think that the some of the best counselors were the ones that had “been there, done that”, because I could readily identify with them on a real and personal level. Now don’t get me wrong, there are some amazing ministries and testimonies out there of how God has radically changed the lives of those who were once broken, hurting and lost. But I also believe that we as a church body in our culture today have lost the value of living a moral life. What’s wrong with setting a high standard of righteous living anyways? Have we gotten so far away from the truths of God, and His standard of righteousness and holy living, that we feel that we need to see what is on the other side of morality? The grass is NOT greener on the other side, and we don’t have to jump the fence just to come to that conclusion. I could have saved myself years of pain and a world of hurt, if I would have held steadfast to the truths of God, and not tried to seek after “greener pastures”.


My pastor explained it to me in a way that made so much sense. He said, “Nikki, let’s say your car has broke down, and you depend on that car daily to get where you are going. There are two mechanic shops in town. One is a little po-dunk mom n’ pop shop, it’s not too pretty, but the shop owner has a vast wealth of knowledge about cars, and every one of his cars are in perfect running order. Then there is a shop across town that is state-of-the-art, pretty and pristine, and the shop owner has lots of really cool race cars that he owns. Though they’re really awesome to look at, none of these cars run, and he has no knowledge in how to fix them. Now which one of these shops would you trust to fix your precious, broken down car? Well, of course that was a no-brainer, and I said, “Well, that’s easy, I’d take it to the shop where the owner’s cars run, cause he knows best in how to fix them!” “The other guy may have some really cool looking cars, but what’s the point of having them, or better yet having a repair shop, if he doesn’t know how to make even his own cars run?” It’s pointless really. So the question is this, would you go to seek advice from a counselor who has some dynamic, dramatic and awesome testimony about how God delivered him from a life filled with wrong choices and sin issues, and has a wealth of knowledge about what "not to do in life" from his past experiences, yet he treats his wife like garbage and his kids hate him? In other words, does his character match up to what he preaches? Is his life consistent on a day to day basis? Or would you rather go to someone who was wise enough to not delve into a life of sin in the first place; a person who has understood the value and preciousness of following Christ, and the importance of obeying His word, and values his family and honors them?



Wow. I had never thought of it that way. Yes, there are many good people out there that make wonderful teachers, preachers and counselors that have come out of a life of sin into the marvelous light of the Lord. But there are also many "who talk a good talk", but fail to truly “walk the walk”. So many churches and pastors today have compromised so many of God’s standards in the name of being “culturally relevant”, while forsaking the simple and profound truths of OBEYING God’s word. So many minister’s custom tailor the Bible to meet their needs, and they have watered down the gospel and make it easy for all to freely sin, with the mindset that we’ll just ask for forgiveness later. I call that “greasy grace”. Yep, exactly what Romans 6:1 tells us NOT to do!

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? God FORBID! How shall we that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?” Romans 6:1-2

Many christians today use grace as a “license to sin”. If we truly want our hearts to be changed by the powerful, life-changing love of Christ, then wouldn’t we want to aim to please the One who we claim has captured our heart and affections?

More importantly, if we are to seek out counseling, we had better take a very good look at that person’s lifestyle. Is this counselor the same person at home as when they are preaching from the pulpit on Sunday mornings? If you ask their wife, husband or children just what kind of person they are 24 hrs a day, you can probably get a pretty good idea of who they are on a day to day basis. Asking for God’s wisdom too, is extremely important when choosing to seek out wise counsel or advice. I have received some pretty bad advice and wrong counsel over the years that has led me onto some unnecessary and dangerous paths.


I could have saved myself a world of hurt if I would have simply taken a step back, and looked at these character issues I mentioned above more clearly. A lot of counselors will even tell you things are”thus saith the Lord” about your life, when they are not even hearing the true voice of the Lord! Test everything to the word of God, (the Bible) which is the true standard of God.

As my pastor continued to pour precious truths into my life, he made another profound statement that gripped my heart. He said, “Nikki, I would rather spend 3 minutes in my prayer closet and have sweet, genuine communion with the Lord, than to pray for 3 hours at self - directed agendas spawned out of my flesh and mind, for the sense and purpose of “feeling spiritual”, and the end result being that I simply feel more spiritual.” Jesus talked about this, when the pharisees were heard praying self-righteous prayers, just to put on the appearance of being humble and holy.

~ What IS our true purpose and agenda for praying?

~ Do we pray out of a desire to feel more spiritual, or to simply commune with the Father out of a heart of love?

~ Do we yearn to know our Father in heaven more intimately, or are we praying simply out of duty and ritual?

Hmmm, it got me thinking anyways. What IS my motive for praying and seeking the Lord? Is it genuine, coming out of a heart filled with love and desire for relationship, or is self-seeking, directed and aimed to please myself to feel more spiritual?!

Amen or oh my?!

Ouch. I can honestly say I’ve been guilty of the latter more than once in my life. “Lord, help me to be completely honest with myself and with You. You know every thought and motive in my heart anyways, who am I fooling? Certainly not You, and what’s the point of serving You if I can’t do it out of a genuine heart?! I’ve even prayed self-righteous prayers, thinking that I was totally humble and submitted to You in the whole process!"

“Oh Lord, I desire for truth on the inward parts, as I become less and You become more; a vessel that can be used for Your glory to be manifested in and through” . . .

"Create in me a clean heart Oh God, and renew a right spirit within me” . . . Psalms 51:10