Who I am - in a nutshell . . .

I am a lover of God. I am passionate about the things that I love, and I love all the things that I am passionate about. I am a seeker of truth, grace and purity. I love to find the beauty in all things and I am convinced that the Creator of this universe is in love with me and all of mankind. I am certain that His love is too vast and deep for us to fully comprehend; we have only had a glimpse, just a taste of His great love for us. I look forward to the day when I will see Him face to face; to behold His glory and to feel that immense love for me in full. I love to worship God. I love to sit for endless hours at a piano and worship God thru my music. I love to bask in His presence and sit quietly and listen to Him speak to me. I love to pray! I pray throughout my day for different people and their situations. I love to see prayers answered, knowing that my Father in heaven is not too busy to hear His children and meet their needs and requests! I also love the fact that I am a daughter of the King of this universe and that “No weapon formed or fashioned against me shall prosper!!” I love knowing the fact that no matter how many times I’ve fallen, messed up or made mistakes, that my Father sees my heart and knows that when I am truly broken and contrite, and that He instantaneously forgives me when I ask. I love knowing that I am free and that I don’t have to let the "bad things" I've done in my past keep me in bondage or shame. I am so grateful for knowing that by the grace of God “I can do ALL things through Christ which strengthens me!!”

I love streams, rivers and ponds; they are peaceful to me. I love the rain, staying inside, curled up by the fireplace, sipping hot tea, reading a good book; preferably one written by John Eldridge. I love snow – it is very quiet and soothing; I like to catch snowflakes on my tongue! (Childish maybe, but I don’t care!) I love music!!! I could go on for hours about music, but quite simply, music is a part of who I am; I eat breathe and sleep music. I love our band, Undone, we rock!

I love my children, they are precious and beautiful. I love to just sit and listen to them; they have the most interesting things to say!


I love my two friends, Sarah and Amanda; they are quite possibly the most fabulous people that I know!!

I love my crazy, insane life-time friend, Brian, eventhough he is total spazz. (But I still won't EVER forgive you for the time our band was trapped for endless hours in Larry's T-bird, YOU, hotboxing it with your farts!!!! No more gas station burritos for you, pal. . . ) I do love the way Brian shreds his electric guitar though. Sweetness!!

I really love my husband and I am so grateful that through all of our failures, that we have learned to respect and honor each other, learned to forgive and be forgiven, and most of all that we didn't give up on our marriage when we wanted to the most. We have learned the meaning of commitment and dedication, not through our successes, but through our failures. We know that we made vows before God, and we now understand the importance of keeping those vows.

On the more serious side, I love dairy products; however they don't like me, as I am lactose intolerant! I don’t like pickles, except for in tuna sandwiches. I love eating cereal late at night. I say the word “ruined” funny; all of my friends would agree! I love watching senseless comedies like Napoleon Dynamite, as I find really dumb things hilarious! I try to make people laugh; it feels good to see someone smile. I hate zits; I ‘m thirty and I feel that it is an injustice to still get them at my age! I love my dog, Colby Jack, He rocks!!






I love to clean and I like my house that way; however, I’ve had to resist my urge to be “anally retentive” in having kids. I like cleaning other people’s houses!! (Weird . . . ) I love teenagers; they are so full of life and fun! I like to mentor them also; younger folks need us older peeps to look up to! (As long as we’re setting good examples, that is) I love life and I can’t wait to see what happens next . . .

Remembering Kona

I was with my very best friend's today, the Damante's, and we were driving home from a very beautiful walk this afternoon. As we pulled up near their driveway, I noticed some vultures in the road. The next thing we saw was a cat, obviously dead, and seemed to look very familiar. As we stopped to look, we realized that it was the Damante's very own beloved cat, Kona. Kona was a beautiful siamese cat of about a year old. He had captivating turquoise eyes and followed us when we went on walks on the Damantes' property. Kona was an outside cat who was full of love and very affectionate to all who knew him. He loved to be around the children when they played. The Damante girls, Desiree, Isabel, Mariah and Alyssa were very crushed to see their beloved cat go to a better place. About a week ago, we heard reports from the neighbor that there was a mountain lion prowling around the properties, and it seemed to have gotten ahold of Kona, because he came home with a gashing wound in his thigh. It was a horrible sight and we thought of taking him to the vet, however we knew that they would not do very much for it, and it would prove to be very costly. We let the wound heal on it's own and seemed to be doing better this week. When animals have a wound, wild animals can smell it, and it looks like one of the wild beasts came to finish the job and they were successful this time. Kona will always remain dear to our hearts and we willnever forget him. May we all be grateful for the wonderful and special animals that the Lord gives us to enjoy and love for a short time here on this earth . Kona your in a better place where we will meet again someday . . .

Life is short . . .

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them.

~ Bob Dylan

Last summer "hoopla"!!

I am currently up in Visalia, California visiting my parents for one last time before life gets busy with the kids in school. Christopher starts 1st grade next week!! He is going to a new school (a private seventh day adventist school in Middletown) this year and is very excited - all of his favorite friends have also enrolled!! Anyways, I just got here in Visalia late last night and today we received a panicked call from my grandpa. He explained that while he was helping to get my grandma ready for the day she suddenly fainted in his arms. He pulled her over to the bed and then she awoke. Since I do have some skills as a CNA and as an aspiring nurse, I quickly questioned him about different things to check for and then proceeded to tell him to hand up and call 911. In the meantime, my mom and I raced over to his house to check on my grandma. I took her vital signs and then the paramedics arrived. I reported my findings to the paramedics and they told me that I did everything perfectly!! ( Nurse Nikki Caldon to the rescuuuuue . . . ehem!!!) Needless to say, Grandma is staying overnight in the hospital so they can monitor her and try to find out what is wrong. So much excitement for one day . . .

*****Stay tuned to hear more about Nikki's Vacation in Visalia!!!

Pleading

Another song written . . .

~ PLEADING ~

Possibly never loved in return
I’m holding my heart out for you
While cold and stale, you shun me to hide

From the deep graves of love lost, buried inside

I’m begging you now
Won’t you open up to love?
And I’m pleading for you
To feel again
Don’t numb your desires
To live again, breathe again,
I’m pleading for you . . .

You've mastered the skill of what you know best

Yet for all of your endless knowledge

This one thing it seems you've forgotten

Defense will be your greatest mistake

when my gentle love comes to rescue you

Written By:
Nikki Caldon 2006 ©

UNDONE

Wow, it's been a long time since I last blogged! Life has been crazy these last few months. Chris and I have been up to alot these days, so here's an update on all that has been happening lately. We finally got serious about our music and officially started our band, Undone.

Here is our press kit so you can read about our band.

Biography

UNDONE

Woe is me for I am UNDONE! Because I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell in the midst of people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the Lord of hosts. ~Isaiah 6:5

This scripture resonates that we are not finished yet. It is only in the presence of the Lord that we can see our flaws; not so He can condemn us, but so that He can cleanse our hearts and restore us back to the One whose heart beats with passion for us, God Himself! This is the message that Undone brings through their music and ministry.Undone originated with the husband and wife team of Chris and Nikki Caldon. Chris and Nikki met in 1998 while they were both active youth and worship leaders at Christian Life Church (CLC) in Santa Rosa, California. With a shared love of the Lord, music, and song writing, Chris and Nikki became good friends, fell in love, and married in 1999. Under the mentorship of Steve Puleo, they came to the understanding that worship is more than just playing music, it is a lifestyle of submission to God in everything we say and do. For the past eight years Chris and Nikki have touched and inspired others with a musical message of God's love. They have written a series of songs that comes from the wellspring of their heart and utmost devotion of their first love, Jesus. They are accomplished worship leaders and have served in the leadership of five churches. In addition, they are the proud parents of three beautiful children and have a heart for youth and children's ministries. Because of this desire, they have been particularly influential with the youth in Northern California and are currently both worship and youth leaders at Jesus Christ Fellowship. Feed My Lambs Productions recently produced two of Undone's independent singles, Miracle and Righteous One.

The band is currently producing their first CD titled, Thirst.

Undone Musicians:

Chris Caldon: Acoustic guitar, lead vocals, background vocals

Nikki Caldon: Keyboard, piano, lead vocals, background vocals

Brian Cross: Electric guitar

Jordan Aqui: Bass guitar, background vocals

Josh Chadock: Drums

Mary Brady: Background vocals

Album Title:

Thirst (Currently being produced)

Contact Info:
Chris Caldon chriscaldon@msn.com 707-889-0615
Feed My Lambs Productions Laurie Daly 707-350-1033
www.Undoneworship.net

Album Tracks:

o Writing on the Wall

o More of You

o Needle & Thread

o Miracle

o Righteous One

o Before It's Too Late

o Lamb of God

o My Friend

o Take Me Away

o I Lift You Up

Recent Accomplishments:

Headliner at The Light Concert House
Santa Rosa, CA August 2006

Played Live in-studio on 89.9 The Candle
Angwin, CA June 2006

Headliner at The Light Concert House
Santa Rosa, CA June 2006

Worship Leaders for Jesus Christ Fellowship

Middletown, CA 2005-currently

Led worship session for 24 hr. prayer meetings

Santa Rosa and Cobb Mountain, CA 2005-2006

Worship leaders for Destiny Christian Fellowship

Colorado Springs, CO 2003-2005

Led worship for Lou Engle and The Cause

Colorado Springs, CO 2004

Led worship for Vertical Call

Santa Rosa, CA 2002

Worship leaders for Calvary Chapel

Saint Helena, CA 1999-2001

Worship team members for Steve Puleo at Christian Life Church

Santa Rosa, CA 1998-2003

Contact Info:
Chris Caldon chriscaldon@msn.com 707-889-0615
Feed My Lambs Productions Laurie Daly 707-350-1033

www.undoneworship.net

Empty Grave

~ The Love Grave ~

Your jealously for me
Your sweet love for me
It is as deep as the grave where you laid
And gave your life as a ransom for my own

But you call to me
O death where's your sting?
Arise my lover, come forth be clean!
O Hades and hell, show me your victory

You have set me free
The grave cannot hold love
Your Blood has bought me
You have set me free

~Nikki Caldon
April 16th 2006

**********************

I wrote this song in reflection of today being Easter. I was sitting in church today while the pastor was preaching, when my mind started to wander. (it often does that, hmmm . . .

) It's not that his message was boring, rather, I was just pondering some of my own thoughts about what Jesus really did for us. It's romantic love story really. I'll let you into my wandering and deep thoughts during church today. . .

When God made us He wanted relationship with us, and He wanted us to love Him back freely. (Men, don't think that God is homosexual, it's a Father son/daughter kinda love) He didn't want us to walk around like robots, as puppets on a string; instead, he wanted us to choose and accept His love by our own free will. He also wanted us to have all of the benefits (kingdom rights) of being His children - Children of the King of the universe! (we're royalty folks, all of us!) Well, thanks to the beginning guy and girl of all time, ya know, Adam and Eve, they kinda screwed things up for us.

See when Satan came to tempt them in the garden, it wasn't simply the fact they ate an apple that they weren't supposed to. See by choosing to eat from the tree that they were forbidden to eat from, they we're really accepting the lie of Satan, the lie that says that we don't need God, we can be our own gods!! (wow, that's kinda like my 5 year old saying, mom, umm, yeah, thanks anyway, but I can drive a car, pay my own bills and raise myself just fine thanks, I don't need your guidance!) By accepting that lie they were separated from God. They could no longer have a close meaningful relationship with the choice they made. They no longer had the benefits of being children of the King. It grieved the heart of God so deeply, that he sent His own first son, Jesus, to show us how deeply God longs for relationship with us, to show us the way back home and to "reverse the curse" for Adam's decision, for all of his decendants who want to know God their Father. See without the covering of our dad, God, we are poor in spirit and are not under His protection. Why do you think there are so many self - destructive people in this world? Because they don't know who they are - Children of the King! And if they know who they are and still don't choose to love God, they are removing themselves from all of the love, protection and benefits of being children of royalty! So back to what I was saying, Jesus sees all of God's children as His bride. I think Jesus chose to call us his bride because it is such a beautiful picture and description of how deeply He loves us - not because He wants physical intimacy with us, but a deep heart - felt love. (yes guys you are bride's too, but don't worry, you don't have to wear dresses!!) He loves us so deeply that He went unto the King, (our Father) and asked to fight for His bride. Envision this, Jesus is in shining armor, sword in His hand and He comes before the King, kneels before Him and asks for permission to fight for His bride and seek after her, to rescue her from sin, sickness and death. (our "benefits" for choosing NOT being under our daddy's covering) He also came to fight for us and to take victory over the one who seeks to destroy every part of our mind, body and spirit, satan himself. Satan has been trying to sabatoge us from the beginning! So the King grants Him permission to go and fight for His bride. God gives Jesus everything He will need for His mission and off He goes, destination - EARTH! He takes human form, walks with us, eats with us, makes human friends like us, has human emotion like us, feels pain like us. (And yet, somehow we still think God doesn't know how we feel as humans!!) And then He does the ultimate, He dies and pays the blood sacrifice, necessary for us to be freed from the Adamic curse. See, Jesus Himself became the ransom, the ultimate sacrifice needed to free us from the curse. But love was stronger than the grave and so 3 days later He arose from his own death! He wanted to prove that death could not hold him from the ones He loves, us. When He went to the grave, he buried all of the bad things we've ever done, or had done to us and He left them there, in the grave! No longer for you to have to carry around guilt, shame, sadness. By Him dying for us, we now have the freedom to have relationship with our Father again, and receive all of the benefits of choosing to live as Sons and Daughters of the King - true love, kindness, mercy, grace, compassion, true forgiveness, healing, purpose, ect.!) But the choice is still up to us . . .

I got a new Camera!!!

~ Lil' Chris snuggling with mama~
So Chris and I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary this upcoming Monday, and I received an early gift from him!! I really didn't expect anything super special to be quite honest; a quiet dinner at one of our favorite restaurants or something . . . but no, I came home this evening to find a brand new digital camera with video waiting for ME!!!!! (Thank you Chris!!) I have been wanting a new camera for sooo long, because of my love for blogging. We were watching the new season of American Idol while fooling around with my new camera, so here they are, pics from my super cool 7.2 mega pixels, sony cyber shot with video!!

~ Me lounging around watching American Idol!! ~
~Joshie just doin' what he does best!!~

To love, or not to love . . .

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.

Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, and irredeemable" . . . .

~C.S. Lewis

The stepping stones of purpose

As I was reading a beautiful excerpt about purpose in my bible, I found a picture tucked away on this page. It was a picture of a young man named Riley, that my husband and I spent countless hours counseling over the phone and in person, to be there as a friends and to encourage him in his great times of need, desperation and loneiness. He was broken - hearted young man on a constant search for someone to love and accept him. Riley was also curious and loved to experiment with new things. One evening about six months ago, he experimented with this new "epidemic" sweeping among our youth today, where they tie a noose or a rope around their neck, to temporarily cut off their air supply. The result is that the lack of oxygen to the brain creates a "natural high" or feelings of sexual arousement. (Don't ask me how, and PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!!) Needless to say, Riley couldn't get the noose free from his neck and he was strangled to death. His parents found him early the next morning, the noose still around his neck.

Chris and I were devastated when we received the call early that morning to hear the news. You see, Riley had tried to call us the evening that he died. It was after midnight, and my husband was so exhausted from working tireless hours at work, that he decided to let the phone go . He thought he could just call Riley back in the morning. We felt like, if only we would have answered the call maybe Riley would still be alive today. But after the grieving process, we realized that God has a rhyme and reason for everything that happens on this earth, and someday, we will find out His reasoning for Riley's death. But let this be a lesson to all of us - that for as long as we have been given this precious gift of life, air in our lungs to breathe, and most importantly, if we know the Creator of this universe, and have a deep understanding of His love for us as His sons and daughters, than we have the beauty within our hearts to encourage, inspire and give life every moment of every day that we are here on this earth.

Let us not waste the precious time that has been granted to us . . .

~Riley we loved you deeply from our hearts ~

I AM grateful, God, that I have finally come to realize your purpose for me. Just when or how this came about I can't say. It wasn't sudden and dramatic, the way it happened to Paul on the road to Damascus, or Peter Marshall with his experience on the Scottish moors.

There have been no visions, no voices, no letters written in fire upon a wall saying: "Do this." "Do that." "This is your reason for being."

No my search for you and for the meaning you had for my life has been uncertain, groping, erratic, filled with accidents, false goals. Sometimes I seemed to sense that purpose, clearly see it; but it vanished like a mirage in the harried, often cruel business of everyday.

Yet somehow you keep track of your floundering creatures. Maybe because life is so filled with defeat and heartbreak, we find ourselves turning to you, yielding ourselves to your will, fighting less furiously for selfish, often empty goals. And when this happens we find that you have turned our sufferings and our failures into little stepping - stones.

Looking back, we see them. These rocks which gradually, all unknown to us, you have been shaping to lead us toward our purpose . . . And we have been following! However blindly, however zigzag the course, yet we have been moving toward it.
And looking about, we see that there are results. There are signals, heartening little affirmations, unexpected proofs. However humble our circumstances or undramatic our talents, our true purpose has been revealed. We were meant to be this person at this time and place. Not only for ourselves, but for you and other people - we were meant to make this particular contribution to the world.

And so we must do it well. Do it with faith and patience, with all our strength and passion. And in so doing discover who we really are.

- Marjorie Holmes

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."
- John 15:13

Praying Blessings over my Allie

So I was at my friend's house the other evening, and as we sat on her bed in her room, we got into some pretty deep conversations about God. There was soft worship music playing in the background and the atmosphere was so serene. We started praying for different things and my daughter Allie kept running in and out of the room. She was just laying next to me on the bed as I prayed, and she at times seemed to be praying too. (I kept hearing her mumble words like "Dear Lord", "Oh Jesus", things like that, with her head buried in her hands!! How precious!) We didn't notice that our other friend, Kera, had come into the room while we were praying. She had her camera and started taking pictures of us while we prayed!! (How funny!)

At one point I started praying over my daughter, Allie, that the Lord would always keep her heart tender and pure before Him, that He would guide her footsteps all the days of her life, and that she would grow in beauty and grace to bring inspiration, and to reach out in love, compassion and comfort to the broken-hearted and poor in spirit in this world. (After all, she has quite a name to live up to, Alexandria Grace, means "Defender of man-kind, Gracious One"!) It was a beautiful time and I felt such a peace when we finished praying. I have been so caught up with the craziness of life that I haven't really had a "time - out" like this to just sit, meditate and pray. It was so refreshing and my daughter also sensed this; she wanted to sit with me the whole time and just "soak" it all in! It was also such a wonderful thing for my daughter to hear me praying and speaking blessings over her life. Though she may be young, her little spirit understands what I am saying, and she loved every minute of it!! After I was done praying for her, she looked up at me, grabbed my face and said, "Thank you mommy, I love you too!" Needless to say, I was cut to the heart by her words!!!


For those of you that have a child/children, I would greatly encourage and exhort you to make the time and sit with them for awhile - just start to encourage their little hearts by praying and pronouncing blessings over them; though they may not fully understand what you are doing, their spirit knows and when they are older, they will remember the intimate things that you so gently and dearly spoke into their hearts as a small child; these will be great treasures for your children and they will carry those words spoken over them in their hearts for the rest of their lives . . .

The people I miss, places I want to be . . .

Well, I really miss having my friend Corrien around, she's quite possibly the funniest person I know!!! (I learned all of the "tricks of the trade" from her!!) SO, here's to you Corrien, my little Irish friend, to our good times in Colorado, but thank heavens we don't live there anymore, eh?!?!?! I just wish you would move your tree huggin', Oregon butt closer to me, so I can force you to wear that ridiculous cowboy hat again!! (Secretly, I know you were in love with the hat though; you know you had dreams of wearing it to our beloved Nascar outings, so the "mullet people" could flock to you, comment on the way sexy hat, and get your number!!! (J/K!! EWWWW!! The thought of mullet heads hitting on you makes me squeamish!) Well, Cheers to you - go have a Guinness on me, sunday school queen!!!

I need a serious vacation and I saw this picture in my files and I wanted to jump into the picture and be there!! (Okay, so it sounds dumb, something my 5 year old would say, buy hey, don't act like you've never wanted to do that!! ) Anyways, Chris took me to Santa Cruz for the weekend last year for our anniversary . . . I was the first and only "vacation" that I've ever been on!! (I forgot that I had even been on a vacation!)

Oh, the good times at 99 Bottles!! I don't think I remember anything after leaving that fine establishment, so I guess it was a good time!! (This pic was taken AFTER we left, as you can tell!) Oh, how I want to go back!!

One more fun thing about that trip; I got to fly a plane!!! Yes this is me, blonde Nikki Caldon, and I flew this plane, and lived to tell about it!! It was pretty sweet, the flight instructor stalled the engine for me and we started diving towards the ground!! Fun stuff!!

"Hi, my name is Nikki Caldon and I will be your pilot today . . . we are headed for a place, ummmm . . not here, we're gonna go some other place . . . I'm just not sure where yet . . . Hawaii maybe, if we have enough gas, umm, yeah . . . so shut up, buckle up and hold on!!"

(The flight instructor was pretty cool; as you can see, he even let me stick my gum on the roof of the plane, so I wouldn't accidently swallow it doing cool tricks with the plane!!)

Aloha, My Friend

I have a dear friend that is going through some really hard times in life right now. Sooo, I wrote this song for you, to let you know I'm here for you - through thick and thin. I'm not a flake, I won't press you to return the favor, and I won't smother you with my own issues in life! I will be here for you as much or as little as you want me to be, and for as long as you want me to be . . . I'll be your friend . . . By the way, out of sheer curiosity, I looked up the meaning for "aloha" and I found out that it means much more than just a simple "hello" or "goodbye" . . . To me it seems like a way of life, something that you choose do to show that person you care. I should have wrote a song with an "aloha" theme!! Well, maybe next time!!
(P.S. - I stayed up REALLY late writing this for you so you can't say that I don't care!!
P.S.S. - I think another song is in the works called "Confessions of a raging psychotic" !!! Hee, hee!!! You know what I mean!! )

~ My Friend ~

When I saw you today

I could tell right away

That you hide behind your smile

I know the pain seems fierce

And it doesn't hold any sign of letting go

But I'm here to show you

That I'll be a friend that's true

And I will stand by your side, abide

And do you trust me? cause I trust you!

I won't give up when you think your through

trying, Dear one, your crying

Don't hide your heart, cause it is free

To seek shelter from the raging storm

I'll keep you warm

Safe from harm

In my arms

Some friends are made fast, too many are gone and past

But I will stay where I belong

I won't be moved

By the trials and tribulations that come our way

Come what may, I'll stay

Your friend, my dear one, to the end

My friend

Written by Nikki Caldon

1/19/06

Aloha is…

love,affection, compassion, mercy,

sympathy, pity,kindness,sentiment,

grace, and charity.


Aloha is a… greeting, salutation, regards, sweetheart, lover, and a loved one.

Aloha is being… beloved, loving, kind, compassionate, charitable, and lovable.

Aloha is to… love, be fond of, show kindness, mercy, pity, charity, affection, venerate, remember with affection, greet and hail.

"Aloha!" is… Greetings! Hello! Good-by! Farewell! Alas!

Here's something to "chew on"

My friend Ben recently wrote an excellent blog on Christianity being the new "F" bomb word of the century. This is Ben . . . He's a pretty mellow guy as you can see . . .

To check out ben's blog, CLICKHERE: badlydrawnben.blogspot.com



I'd like to share with you one really good paragraph of his that struck me the most . . .

What is Christianity anymore? Really? It certainly isn't what Christ intended for it to be. Christianity has become a religion unto itself, a club with required membership, life-long member benefits such as life, death and fire insurance that will never expire as long as you show up on Sunday morning looking spiffy with a grin and a "God-Bless". Because of the judgmentality, aloof attitudes, infighting and general inability of "Christians" to be IN this world without damning it to hell on a daily basis, rather than just being OF this world; Christians are now seen as Bible-wielding maniacs; and the savior who's virtues they espouse so vehemently has been turned into no more than a mythical patriarch who lords over a group of social pariahs that excel in contradicting themselves on a daily and public stage.It seems to me that over the course of time and due in large part to the actions and/or inactions of well-meaning-yet-not-too-bright "believers and followers", Christianity has become the new F-word; Socially Unacceptable. I've lost my faith in Christianity, maybe now I can finally get down to knowing God.

ONE LAST THOUGHT:

(AKA - Things that make ya go, hmmmmmm . . .)

WOULD JESUS BE A CHRISTIAN?!?!?!

Why I believe . . .

Some may ask why I have such a strong faith in God. While it all may just be a lie, some myth, a glimmer of something to hold on to, a coping mechanism of sorts, I ask, what do I have to lose by believing? For me, it is better to have believed than to not believe at all. For some, it is out of ritual or duty, paying penance for their wrongs, or just to make themselves feel better for the many bad things or "sins" that they have commited. I have honestly asked myself many questions as to why I believe that there is a loving God out there who loves me without condition and has paid the ultimate ransom for my life, for no other reason than that He created me, loves me and knew every deep and intimate thing about me even before I was a glimmer in my mothers' eye.

A quote from the book Captivating, written by John Eldridge states it so beautifully:

"sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart, your priceless feminine heart. God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it it worth recovering. You are captivating. "

See I have found freedom in God to know who I really am, as opposed to the standards that the world, via the media, magazines and other sources, try to squeeze me into. The inward beauty in myself that stirs and awakens others to find the God-given beauty in their own hearts. Yes, there are still the constant "whisperings in my ears" to try and decieve me into believing that I am no one special, and that I don't have anything beautiful inside to offer; sometimes I give into these whispering lies and they knock me off of my feet for awhile. But ultimately I must not forget who I am, and what I have to offer from my heart that God has placed there. The world cries out for something more than just the mystery and seductiveness of a beautiful, well-endowed woman. It is crying out for more; even the most beautiful people in the world are still unhappy. Nothing can fill the deep void that lay in their heart, except to know the one who knows them best . . . their Creator. God does not intend to dominate and demean, as some religions portray, (christians by the way are very notorious and hypocritical for judging people and distorting God's view of mankind - it makes me very hesitant to call myself one) rather, if we allow Him to, God inspires us to bring forth life in knowing who we are and what we were made for! So insane and crazy, I may be, but what harm am I doing by encouraging and inspiring others to live deeply from their hearts, to reveal God's beauty and to show them the beauty that He has placed within them, and to live as God created them to live; fully alive?! And at the end of this long and exciting journey, if it was all truly just a bunch of nonsense, then I can truly say that I lived and gave everything, rather than trying to survive in this life, holding back everything, and dying, with nothing . . .

- Nikki Caldon

The "KING MULLET"

So many of you know that secretly I have this fetish with mullets; secretly I HATE them, I think that they are so ugly, that I find them truly fascinating!! I'm always on the look out for a really "good" mullet and the other day my friend Jarrod introduced me to the mother of mullets, THE KING MULLET!!! (hats off to my pal, Jarrod, who does not currently sport a mullet) I was truly and utterly speechless; at a loss for words - this IS the best mullet I have seen to date! I would challenge anyone to top this one, so feast your eyes, here it is:

THE KING MULLET!!!!!

This mullet is definitely in the category of "The show-low". You see, the different styles of mullets have different categories, and in mullet language "The show-low" means that the mullet is short on the top and the rest is long. Might I just add that the cell phone on this guy looks somewhat new, which would lead me to believe that this pic is pretty new in and of itself!!! Might I also add that the shorts and rolled sleeve T-shirt go fabulously with the bag he's carrying. In the early nineties I know that mullets were quite the rage, but I think some of the world's population missed the memo that we're not in the NINETIES anymore!!! But hey, if ya want to have a mullet, fine by me, whatever "floats your boat", "toots" your horn", "gets your panties in a twist" !!! To all of you mullet wearers out there, I have just one last word;

WOW . . .

Take Me Away

I have been in a songwriting mood lately, so here is one of the songs that I wrote.

~ Take Me Away~

I cannot bear to gaze at your stare

For more than a moment, I won't dare

Spellbound my eyes, they hit the floor

Captured and ravished to the core

Burning with passion, laden with love

My heart cries, take me away

If just for a moment

If just for awhile

To taste of your beauty

touched by your love

Surrounded, protected, take me away

Make me your own and take me away

Masquerade that you hide behind

You think you've got it figured out

But I know the wiser, I see right thru

To the depths of your being, if you were true

Your wanting, your waiting for this journey

So never say never, let this begin and

take me away . . .

Okay, so I never said I was a great songwriter or anything, but who cares!! It's fun, it's a hobby - enough justifiying myself for writing cheesy songs, enough said . . .