Some may ask why I have such a strong faith in God. While it all may just be a lie, some myth, a glimmer of something to hold on to, a coping mechanism of sorts, I ask, what do I have to lose by believing? For me, it is better to have believed than to not believe at all. For some, it is out of ritual or duty, paying penance for their wrongs, or just to make themselves feel better for the many bad things or "sins" that they have commited. I have honestly asked myself many questions as to why I believe that there is a loving God out there who loves me without condition and has paid the ultimate ransom for my life, for no other reason than that He created me, loves me and knew every deep and intimate thing about me even before I was a glimmer in my mothers' eye.
A quote from the book Captivating, written by John Eldridge states it so beautifully:
"sometime between the dreams of your youth and yesterday, something precious has been lost. And that treasure is your heart, your priceless feminine heart. God has set within you a femininity that is powerful and tender, fierce and alluring. No doubt it has been misunderstood. Surely it has been assulted. But it is there, your true heart, and it it worth recovering. You are captivating. "
See I have found freedom in God to know who I really am, as opposed to the standards that the world, via the media, magazines and other sources, try to squeeze me into. The inward beauty in myself that stirs and awakens others to find the God-given beauty in their own hearts. Yes, there are still the constant "whisperings in my ears" to try and decieve me into believing that I am no one special, and that I don't have anything beautiful inside to offer; sometimes I give into these whispering lies and they knock me off of my feet for awhile. But ultimately I must not forget who I am, and what I have to offer from my heart that God has placed there. The world cries out for something more than just the mystery and seductiveness of a beautiful, well-endowed woman. It is crying out for more; even the most beautiful people in the world are still unhappy. Nothing can fill the deep void that lay in their heart, except to know the one who knows them best . . . their Creator. God does not intend to dominate and demean, as some religions portray, (christians by the way are very notorious and hypocritical for judging people and distorting God's view of mankind - it makes me very hesitant to call myself one) rather, if we allow Him to, God inspires us to bring forth life in 
knowing who we are and what we were made for! So insane and crazy, I may be, but what harm am I doing by encouraging and inspiring others to live deeply from their hearts, to reveal God's beauty and to show them the beauty that He has placed within them, and to live as God created them to live; fully alive?! And at the end of this long and exciting journey, if it was all truly just a bunch of nonsense, then I can truly say that I lived and gave everything, rather than trying to survive in this life, holding back everything, and dying, with nothing . . .- Nikki Caldon
