"The Tragedy of Painkillers" (A Story)

Once upon a time, a very broken, lost and hurting girl took some serious painkillers, to numb a horrific amount of pain and agony that she was in. For she knew that if she could completely numb her heart from all of the insurmountable damage that it had suffered, maybe, just maybe she could get through her life relatively pain free. The effects of the painkillers, however, put her into such a deep sleep, that not even the one who loved her most, her lover, couldn't wake her up. Her lover grieved for years for his beloved, who was in this unresponsive state. She was unable to give any love or warmth from her heart back to her lover; for it had been tucked away, preserved and protected from anything that could come and crush her spirit.

After so many years of torment, her lover sadly walked away from her bedside. He felt that since there was seemingly no hope of her awakening, that he should just resolve to take the same painkillers, to numb the horrible emptyiness of not being able to receive her love in return. Soon after he took the painkillers, his eyes got very heavy, and he started to feel sleepy. He knew that very soon he would be in this same comatose state as his beloved. Suddenly he heard his lover, the one who had been asleep for so long, abruptly awaken from her slumber and scream out his name. In desperation she searched for him in the lonely darkness of a large, and now empty house; a house that had once been filled with radiant laughter and love. When she stumbled upon him, she found him lying on the floor in the darkness of a lonely and empty room. As he laid there on the cold, hard floor, she quickly grabbed her lover, and swept him up into her arms. She held him close, pleading and shaking his frail body, begging him not to fall asleep. You see, it was only when her lover left her bedside, that she started to feel cold, hungry, and gasping for air. She knew that the only thing that had kept her alive during her state of slumber, had been the warmth of her lover's closeness, the food of love that he had made to nourish her body with, and the oxygen that he had given her; to sustain her and keep her lungs filled with air. He had been her LIFE SUPPORT, keeping her stablized and alive for all of those years.


As she gasped for air, she pleaded with him not to fall asleep, for she knew that if he went under into this same state of unconsciousness, that he would never return to her. She also knew that she would die without the warmth of his presence, the food of love that he continually fed to her with, and the life-giving oxygen, lovingly given by his own lungs to keep her breathing.


To this day she sits there in this empty house, hovering over her lover. And with tears streaming down her face, she pleads for her lover to feel again, begging him not to go under. The painkillers however, are quickly getting stronger, working their magic to take him into this apathetic state. Her one last hope for his coveted consciousness, is to cry out to the Creator of this Universe. She screams at the air, calling out to the heavens, to the only one who can reverse this awful curse. She fully comprehends the cause and effect of these powerful drugs, and knows their forboding impact of regret and sorrow. If she only would have known that this terrible tragedy could have been prevented, by choosing a better way to ease her pain, she never would have taken the potent drug in the first place. She never meant or intended to cause her lover to go through such a traumatic series of events. She mourns in her heart for her blind actions, and the serious ramifications that followed her decisions.

If you are quiet for just a moment, you can still hear her voice, as it echos through the darkness, begging for the God of heaven and earth to answer her desperate cries. If you listen closely, you can still hear her beating on the chest of her beloved, trying to awaken and resuscitate his waning heartbeat. If you feel the wind blow fiercely through the air and across your face, it just may be her breath, frantically forcing her own air into her beloveds' mouth, trying to keep his lungs filled with air. And if you breathe ever so deeply into your nostrils, you can smell the essence of sustenance, the food of love prepared for her beloved, ready to nourish him and keep his body from starvation. Finally, if you hear a song that pulls on your heartstrings, a melody that shakes you down to the very core of your soul, it may quite possibly be her singing this song of desperation to the open sky:

"Possibly never loved in return
I’m holding my heart out for you
While cold and stale, you shun me to hide
From the deep graves of love lost, buried inside

I’m begging you now
Won’t you open up to love?
And I’m pleading for you
To feel again
Don’t numb your desires
To live again, breathe again,
I’m pleading for you . . .

You've mastered the skill of what you know best
Yet for all of your endless knowledge
This one thing it seems you've forgotten
Defense will be your greatest mistake
when my gentle love comes to rescue you"

Written By:
Nikki Caldon 2006 ©