I have been a little down lately. No my dog didn't die. I don't even have a dog. You see today is my birthday and I've been dreading it for some reason. It is my last year as a twenty-something. Looking in the mirror has not been fun. I'm starting to see those once foreign things called "fine lines" and gravity taking it's toll around my cheeks, under my eyes and other unmentionable places. I know, I know, it's vain but it's still not fun to be seeing these things on my face!! Oh, and I'll share a little secret with you; I noticed a little "growth" of skin under my armpit about 5 months ago. I didn't know what to do about it. A friend told me that she gets these "growths" all of the time and that she just cuts them off!! Cuts them off, I thought?!?! Are you freakin' crazy? Ouch! I was doing some research yesterday on the internet for a project I'm working on, and a little ad for cosmetic surgery popped up. Normally I wouldn't have thought twice to click on the "X" box to get it off of my screen, but a little twinge of curiosity nudged me to click on it. A website for a plastic surgery center popped on my screen. Fascinated, I looked at all of the possibilities of having a smaller nose, a tighter face, smoother eyes, spider veins zapped and perky boobs. It all looked grandious, I was ready; sign me up! I found out the general cost for all of these procedures and added them up. I was horrified as I saw the grand total -
Twenty thousand dollars!!! Twenty frickin' thousand dollars! Well, I left the website even more depressed than when I entered - afterall, I don't think that I'm going to have twenty thousand dollars to throw around in the next few years!! (I think that website was of the devil !!) Anyways, I went along with my day even more "down in the dumps" that when I started. I was in a generally, all around bad mood when Chris got home; I just wanted to hide. So after we put the kids to bed I retreated to my glorious bathroom.
On a side note, I absolutely LOVE my master bathroom!! I have NEVER had such a great bathroom! I have a double vanity sink, a shower and a huge oval tub. So I climbed in my tub, dumped some healthy seaweed soak stuff in and sat. After sitting for a few minutes, I realized that I don't just sit and relax too often!! It felt soo good! Chris knocked on the door about 10 minutes into my bath
and at first I was alittle irritated. But he came in to give me an early birthday card, so my irritation melted. He gave me a towel to dry my hands off and I opened the card. It said on the front, "There are two reasons why I want to be with you on your birthday: 1. I love you. " On the inside there is this wolf with his eyes bugged out with springs and it's tongue sticks out and it says, "2. I've seen you naked!" I got a good laugh out of that one!
It cheered me up to the point that I thought I would keep the spark of laughter going by finding all of the alcohol in the house, which consisted of a guinness beer and the last of the white wine in our fridge. (about 1 almost full glass) Pathetic I know, that I have to find alcohol to get my spirits up, but I really just needed to take my mind off of things. So I downed the wine and beer, and immediately I felt that warm, fuzzy sensation to my brain. I started laughing and then went rambling on about something like, "Well, screw the plastic surgery, I'll do my own plastic surgery!!"
"Hunny, get the scissors, let's cut off my ugly skin tag!!" So Chris is like, alright chick, you've lost it, but he went and got the scissors. He was frightened to death, but I just kept saying, come on, just do it, so on the count of three he cut it off. It pinched slightly, which led me to believe that if I wasn't liquered up that it really would of hurt! It bled and I just looked at it, laughed and yelled, "yep! It's a bleeder! We got a bleeder over here! He ran and got a towel and then I instructed him to go get the antiseptic solution and a band-aid. I couldn't stop laughing through the whole thing. Needless to say we had a GREAT night if ya know what I mean and I woke up today on my birthday feeling a renewed sense of being okay with who I am, even without all of the plastic surgery. (and no headache from all of the booze! Believe me, that's a good amount of alcohol for me) So goes the saying that "Beauty is only skin deep . . . "
