Omissions from a weary wounded . . .One blinding glance, a mere facade of a friendship
deep and meaningful, the shift is brutal and sudden,
and caught off guard, the rug is pulled right out from under
A blur of what exactly shifted, left me to scratch my head at this insanity
This which I poured my heart from, has left me to wonder why
Valuable were you to me, and such were you valued
Yet your open door slammed with no warning
it shut me out in the cold and left me confused
wandering in this swirling wind of rejection
your heart sits cold, calloused from what?
Who caused this wall to be built, your militant post,
guarding this fortress around your heart?
leaving you stale, suffocating in the selfishness of your ways
a coffin for the victims that lie in your path
You've forgotten what LIFE is and it's meaning
priority number one on your list, is in your mirror
I pray this hatred has been locked on my target only
Haunting no other innocent soul
For I could not bear for another
to be so plagued by this abyss of your gloom
When in your presence, the seething disapproval oppresses
It grabs me tightly and silently agresses
Your piercing glances of disgust seer through my core
frozen from fear, I fluster and cower
Leaving me dumfounded and empty
to answer why I tried so dearly
My heart was pure and eager to please
if by accident this was too much
I was willing to be just enough
No harm nor fowl were in my thoughts
A mere aquaintance was up for the offering
No expectations were needed just kindness and courtesy and on occasion
So here am I left in this awkward state
My only prayer, a wish, at this desperate rate
is that you breathe again, life and inspiration found,
embracing passion in your pursuit, and kindness abounding
A love for others, tact and patience found in your character
Maybe I will never see the fruition of change
perhaps I am the one to blame
A disease in your regretting past of forboding disdain
You wish to rid of my memory and name
Wash your hands of this then, and tell me of the gain
To erase me from the timeline in your window of delusion
What is the goal that lay before you, this accomplishment you seek?
If I shall walk, ever invisible in your presence
then this request I will grant
Is justice served, this punishment deserved?
Hate must not breed hate, lest hypocrisy be my state
So retaliation will not be ever - present
not in this heart or mind
betrayal is a bitter cup, one not well taken through these lips
lest I fall into this trap, I must quickly forgive
for it is written that bitterness is as rotteness to the bones
So I will stand strong with a solid foundation
one of graciousness and peace
My desire to care for you is still unscathed, my mission the same
To love you as my friend, with my heart and soul to save
No acknowledgement for you to recognize, my expectations are none
just know that you will have a faithful friend standing, should your merciless mission end . . .
Nikki Caldon
2007
